SXSW 2014: 'We'll Never Have Paris' Review

SXSW Film Review: 'We'll Never Have Paris'

The writing is whip-smart, but the characters fall short

By Melanie Haupt

Big Bang Theory star Simon Helberg has written a moderately entertaining romantic comedy about fucking up on an epic scale in matters of the heart.

Helberg stars as the hapless Quinn, a wannabe-musician who works as a florist. His longtime girlfriend, Devon (Melanie Lynskey), works as a college professor and is so far out of Quinn’s league that it’s laughable. The same goes for Quinn’s coworker Kelsey (Maggie Grace), a statuesque (albeit slovenly) beauty who for some reason finds him irresistible enough to stalk.

While Helberg’s story is semiautobiographical, the casting is just too jarring to be believable, especially because Quinn’s character lacks any charisma whatsover. He’s deeply insecure, lacks ambition, and is a hypochondriac.

That said, the writing is at times whip-smart, especially a joke that references longstanding [post]-colonial tensions between France and Algeria. Albert Molina sparkles in a small role as Quinn’s father, and Jason Ritter is wasted in a minuscule part as Devon’s brother, while Zachary Quinto adds quirky ambience as Jameson, Quinn’s daishiki-clad, day-trading trustafarian bestie.

Helberg is clearly striving to emulate Woody Allen here, and he gets there with the self-deprecating comedy but lands wide of the mark when it comes to character development.

There is a Love Scene in the movie involving Maggie Grace and Simon.....

SXSW 2014: We'll Never Have Paris - Jason Ritter, Maggie Grace and Melanie Lynskey Interview

We'll Never Have Paris: SXSW Review

Quinn has envisioned marrying Devon for years, but when he finally decides to propose he's so unassertive she doesn't even know what he's doing. Bemoaning his failure to coworker Kelsey (Maggie Grace), a lithe blonde who's far out of his league, he gets an unexpected and problematic consolation: "I might be in love with you a little bit," she says. Soon she's more certain, and Quinn's in trouble.
Unable to fully ignore the possibility of sex with such a woman, Quinn stumbles into a breakup with Devon; he's similarly inept when, after an awkward encounter with Kelsey, his attempt to reunite goes beautifully until it nosedives. Devon leaves to find herself in Paris.

Confirmation: Zero nudity by Maggie Grace